I dont know what to fucking do!!!!!!

I cant hide, I cant cry.
Nothing inside makes sense. I am losing friends fast. Travis omg he spent the fucking weekend at Trey's housse now he is being a fucking dick! And I dotn want anything to do with him! And Amber and I....we both dont want him with Trey becausse nobody wants to be around him when he fucking is with her!!! Or been around her he is comepletely different. He is there is no word bad enough to call him so I shall say when he is with Trey he is Adam! There is another fucking story all together!
Adam fucking calls, txt, emails, has fucking his friends call he talks so much shit!! I fucking I dont even know what to fucking do about him!! I just want to take sleeping pills....or O/D on something or fucking something!!! I dont know!!! I just want to vanish!!! He fills me with so much fucking rage!! I want to kill him!! I wont!! But I want to!!!I wished I never met him!!!
The there is Chris...I love that kid to death but he loves Tessa! I support that I quit!! But Tessa does tell the truth or that I want to believe....when she says him and I lie to each other a lot!! About how we feel and shit! I dont know! I jusst dont know!! But it's cool I am still routing for them...even thuogh Tess says nothing is gonna happen!! I still have to route for them for Chris. I want him to be happy!! : ) : )
But still I want to just die!! I want to od, go away, fade away, slit and die, drink myself to death something!! I just want to dissapear that would make life better for everone! and I am a fucking mess right now!! I cant talk to anybody especially the person I want to talk to most!!!